OFF AND RUNNIN....but to where,we can only wonder..

after a much needed mental rewiring i am finally settling into the idea that 2005 is really DEAD AND GONE,,i cant even articulate how happy i am about it,,it SUCKED but not inthe good way that a true Heathen could appreciate,everything was just fuckin batshit haywire nonstop 24-7 eeeeeh..but i did travel abit and was on tour abit but right now it all just meshes into one big bad memory...i had fun in Spain,,Mallorca,Austria,a fucking BLAST in Italy where i used to live btw,and Canary islands,,it sounds great and was,but when you have to return to cold dead hard no passion and no flava Germany,all of the spice s that you required in your travels just DISSAPATES,and you find yourself wondering "where da fuck,what da fuck HUH sa wha,um who um well UUUHMMM oh uh and so on...beleive me, im ready to leave it all behind and start fresh,like that Kelis song Young Fresh and New..so, nothing to report for christmas,spent alot of time watching movies,normally if im spending time at home in the states there is never a dull moment,especially when i am spending time with my creole nicaraguan pretty loud and hilariuos family,but nothing like that can happen here cause im all alone,my closest close friends are in Italy,i have some friends here but are they really friends if you never hear from them??well my days of bein Diana ross and "reach out and touch...those days are definitely over,NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY,its good to be nice but that shit can backfire on you so watch out,its good to keep people a little bit scared of you,,nothing else works,well at least not in show biz in Germany..well i just found out i ve had a tour and a big choreography job cancelled,lovely way to start the new year,oooh,now what?oh well I only live about 3 hours away from AMSTERDAM by car,so maybe i will go hit the red light district and blow off some steam(among other things) i love it there,they got some foine folk up there and I NEED ATTENTION,so who knows what i will have to report when i get back,,shit i dont really have to go all the way there to get into trouble,cologne can be pretty freaky,but too many people know my business,i cant get away with shit,or better yet maybe i will just find me some WORK in the RED LIGHT!!just like STING..ROXANNE(or should i say HEATHEN!!!)u dont have to put on the red light...oh but mr Sting i do iREALLY do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but those fuckas cant afford me,why do i keep forgetting that??hee heee..let me go open up this wine,its time to release my inner (mostly) SLUT..thinking heavenly thoughts of hedonism and getting plundered,(not necessarily in that order) love and nothing but love in the new year..un bacio

OFF AND RUNNIN....but to where,we can only wonder..

after a much needed mental rewiring i am finally settling into the idea that 2005 is really DEAD AND GONE,,i cant even articulate how happy i am about it,,it SUCKED but not inthe good way that a true Heathen could appreciate,everything was just fuckin batshit haywire nonstop 24-7 eeeeeh..but i did travel abit and was on tour abit but right now it all just meshes into one big bad memory...i had fun in Spain,,Mallorca,Austria,a fucking BLAST in Italy where i used to live btw,and Canary islands,,it sounds great and was,but when you have to return to cold dead hard no passion and no flava Germany,all of the spice s that you required in your travels just DISSAPATES,and you find yourself wondering "where da fuck,what da fuck HUH sa wha,um who um well UUUHMMM oh uh and so on...beleive me, im ready to leave it all behind and start fresh,like that Kelis song Young Fresh and New..so, nothing to report for christmas,spent alot of time watching movies,normally if im spending time at home in the states there is never a dull moment,especially when i am spending time with my creole nicaraguan pretty loud and hilariuos family,but nothing like that can happen here cause im all alone,my closest close friends are in Italy,i have some friends here but are they really friends if you never hear from them??well my days of bein Diana ross and "reach out and touch...those days are definitely over,NO MORE MISTER NICE GUY,its good to be nice but that shit can backfire on you so watch out,its good to keep people a little bit scared of you,,nothing else works,well at least not in show biz in Germany..well i just found out i ve had a tour and a big choreography job cancelled,lovely way to start the new year,oooh,now what?oh well I only live about 3 hours away from AMSTERDAM by car,so maybe i will go hit the red light district and blow off some steam(among other things) i love it there,they got some foine folk up there and I NEED ATTENTION,so who knows what i will have to report when i get back,,shit i dont really have to go all the way there to get into trouble,cologne can be pretty freaky,but too many people know my business,i cant get away with shit,or better yet maybe i will just find me some WORK in the RED LIGHT!!just like STING..ROXANNE(or should i say HEATHEN!!!)u dont have to put on the red light...oh but mr Sting i do iREALLY do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but those fuckas cant afford me,why do i keep forgetting that??hee heee..let me go open up this wine,its time to release my inner (mostly) SLUT..thinking heavenly thoughts of hedonism and getting plundered,(not necessarily in that order) love and nothing but love in the new year..un bacio

a xmas tale

well,my little so and so got home form the dominican republic this morning and is currently sleeping off some jet lag,,its xmas so all the shops are closed and get this,the television broke,i turned it on,went to the bathroom came back around and it was off again,oh yeah i also could smell a hot smoke...fuk,now what,so much for the romantic snuggling in front of the tv on christmas,and the sun has the nerve to be shining eeeeeyyaaaahhhh..i might just have to bump happy hour up a couple hours there is no where else to turn lol,hell its suposed to be jesus´s b-day right??so why not celebrate with a big ol dose of JESUS JUICE;A HEE HEE HEE who´s bad....anyway i got a hit from TIM M,it just really made my day;HE IS A MAN WITH A MIND,;;;THAT BLOG and what shining intelllect..sweet jesus...i am inspired,to do what only time will tell,ooooh i had some of the sluttiest dreams in my life this past week,and thats sayin somethin,ooooh,and last night,omg i hope that it doesnt stop,i was doing everything u could imagine and it was all so real,the safest sex ever..did you ever have a moment when you are dreaminf but you are conciuos that you are dreaming,and the u just kind of try to do everything u would probably never do and also that might actually hurt???only because u know you are dreaming..i love that shit,now i know what i am truly capable of,lets just hope i can keep it in the dream world cause if some of the stuff starts playin out in real life sombody is gonna need to come lock me up...anyway,nice xmas post dontcha think.trashy enough for you,they dont call me the heavenly heathen for nothing...love and light and peaceful power and as always,hope for the future and pleases oh please more slutty dreams for all..but especially me...radiance

well well well..

hey now,what can i say,a week ago i was a blogger virgin now ive had my comment cherrie popped by none other than shawnqt,thank you jesus ,and trent was not far behind.by no means sloppy seconds.i need a cigarette.the black bloggers have kept me sane and entertained for just about a year now,even though i usually never comment,i am coming to you from honkytown germany,and i live about six blocks from where TINA lived years ago.I was sick with the flu so i didnt enter any posts but now im better,still lookin a little rough tho,anyway, my somewhat significant other will be home on sunday from a 14 day holiday in dominican republic,we usually go together every year for a couple of big vacations but this year i had to work,or so i thought,not only did i sacrifice my holiday for my manager/agent but i also put off some club gigs just to make myself available..SO,not only do the jobs not happen(which they pressured me into)they didnt tell me about it,W T F???lordy lordy lordy i, was here at my crib alone just living and trying to stay healthy for the concerts and traveling and all the mess that touring usually entails...nobody called me..i should be on stage right now,i am so over these fuckus,i am also beside myself,i could have been in the dom rep ALL THIS TIME::AAAAAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAH,my madness bubbles to the surface-and thats not good,dont get me wrong,I am the radiant one,but when you are on the other side of the planet trying to make your way and people for what ever reason decide to fuck with your time ,and your money you just might find youself ready to CUT....well i could go on for days ,there is more to it than that but i think its prolly better not to elaborate..so is it my imagination or is Marz an absolutely an amzing young man?he needs our support in every way,he is also a very talented storyteller,i am not,so i can spot that shit...anyhoo,i am entertaining the thought of ..messing around while my somewhat significant other is basking and doing god what else in dom rep,,i will tell u now,,i am not an ugly guy,and i have never had to look for anything so it would be very easy,but,these germans are so hooked up and gossipy its almost as bad as the blacks,there would be a full report waiting on his desk,explaining my exploits,,better to stay home with the porn,i love it....well the shops are closing soon and if i dont get off my ass there will be no soup in the pot tonight.......hope to hear from ya..temptation dwells witin us all so dont front..luv radiance

big mystery

well anybody who knows me even a little bit would be shocked to understand what i am about to attempt, i am not really the one,as far as computer skills and various technical whatnot,whatever,its the effort dammit,and the process and my own personal challenge,that is whats important in this moment,,and also figuring out how to post this damn thing,oh yeah and how to show the date,lord. nobody knows me and maybe nobody will show up..sniff sniff,remember that shit when you were young??WHAT IF NOBODY COMES??!! lol,i had a friend who slipped me a not in class one day about the birthday party she was having that weekend,i spent the whole day laughing at her ass about that teenage paranoia,,oh well now its my turn..we will see..cause,i dont really know what im doing ,heh heh heh,what else is new? its cold and rainy here in germany,what is a radiant wonder such as myself doing here anyway?well that will all come out soon enuff,among other things...... so breathe deep, take a step back and look around you, any new endeavor has a certain amount of mystery to it,that is what is making this intersting for me as i sit here completley ignorant about the actual mechanics of blogging. wish me luck,suckas.